Showdown with Big D

The Saints were outcoached, outmanned, and out-physicaled at the New York Jets this past Sunday. As a result, they lost, 26-20, dropping their record to 6-2 and slimming their lead over the Carolina Panthers (5-3) in the NFC South division to one game.

Sorry, Saints fans. The Cowboys cheerleaders won't be there Sunday night. 1

THIS ONE COUNTS

No team wants to lose – ever. But if the Saints had to have two losses, the two that they lost were the least detrimental. Both the Patriots (7-2) and Jets (5-4) are good opponents. The Saints were on the road. Most importantly, they are both AFC opponents, meaning the impact of those losses on any tiebreaking scenarios is negligible at best.

This matchup against an up-and-down Dallas Cowboys team (5-4) on Sunday Night Football is important. The Saints cannot afford to give any more ground to the Panthers. With the Cowboys being an NFC opponent, this has an impact on tiebreaker scenarios that could determine the division championship and/or home field advantage throughout the playoffs down the line.

The Cowboys are strange fruit. They find innovative ways to lose games that they should win. The key is that they should have won said games. It is only a matter of time before the Cowboys stop snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

2

CHINKS IN THE ARMOR

The Saints are missing, or could be missing, some key cogs to their offensive machine that makes the offense lethal. Primary wide receiver Marques Colston (27 rec., 342 yds., 1 TD) missed last week’s game at the Jets with a knee injury. Jimmy Graham (49 rec., 746 yds., 10 TD) has been stuck in a lower gear the past two weeks (in spite of eye-popping fantasy football performances) with a foot injury that will likely linger for the rest of the season. Darren Sproles (37 rec., 368 yds., 1 TD) suffered a concussion early in last week’s game and is questionable for Sunday night.

These are important players that are interrelated in the Saints offensive scheme. The reason some receivers get open is often because of the route running abilities and downfield and/or positional threats posed by other receivers. No player on an offense exists in a vacuum.

I suppose half a "Graham" of Jimmy is more than a whole pound of any other tight end (rimshot). 3

HOW BOUT DEM COWBOYS?

While a win over the hapless Minnesota Vikings (1-7) is not headline news, it helped restore some of the confidence that was likely stripped in the last second loss at the Detroit Lions two Sundays ago. Still, the Cowboys have the same old problems dogging them – patchwork offensive line play, an complete absence of depth at the running back position behind DeMarco Murray (459 yds., 3 TD, 4.8 avg.), and Swiss cheese on defense behind the front four.

Saints fans have cause to raise an eyebrow at their team, having lost two out of their last three. However, the Who Dat Nation should not have any cause for alarm, barring any additional significant injuries. The Saints have a significant stake in the outcome of Sunday’s nationally televised game and I expect them to leave the Mercedes-Benz Superdome with their stake intact.

Say what you want about Dez, but the Cowboys took the lead after he blew his stack and got the ball more. Get your popcorn ready! 4

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Cheers for Dez Bryant's Speedy Recorvery

Dallas Cowboys wider receiver Dez Bryant is an enigma. Very talented...alleged attitude issues. Monster stat sheet...plagued by untimely drops. Came from unfathomable childhood turmoil and maintained the discipline and work ethic needed to make it to the NFL as a first round draft pick...gets into trouble by assaulting his mother.

One thing I will not question is his toughness. Bryant broke his finger during last week's win over the Cincinnati Bengals. A broken finger for an NFL wide receive is a big deal. It is painful, no matter what you do for a living. It is an integral part of how they do their jobs. I cannot imagine playing that position fresh off of that kind of injury. Regardless, Bryant has repeatedly said he is determined to remain in the lineup as his team is playing for its playoff life every week for the remainder of the season.

Today's Chick Pic is probably not Bryant's motivation for remaining in the lineup, but getting to feast one's eyes, up close and personal, on these lovely ladies cannot hurt his effort.

I've seen one Cowboys game in person. The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are all they're cracked up to be. 1

The view as they leave the tunnel is something like this. Wouldn't you want to get back a little early? 2

The Cowboys keep a leg up on the competition in all areas of the organization. 3

Everyone needs a backup plan. 4

They stay in shape for all seasons. 5

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2) Image from www.sportsadept.com
3, 4) Image from www.tumblr.com
5) Image from www.pagasusnews.com

Retweet of the Day - July 17, 2012

As you may by aware, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic violence charge. Bryant allegedly assaulted his mother. From all accounts, it appears that nobody was hurt, which I why I don't mind sharing today's retweet, from Josh Moloney (@Moloney22):

"If OJ can get away with murder, surely @DezBryant can get away with slapping his mama around a bit..."

This is the only mama slapping I can condone. And it...is...GOOD, by the way!

Image from www.thehotzoneonline.com

What if Everyone Received the Dez Bryant Treatment?

"We don't like yerr kind 'round here, MISTER COWBOY!" 1

Many of you may have heard that Dez Bryant was escorted from an upscale Dallas area mall earlier this week. Allegedly, Bryant was wearing sagging pants. Bryant claims that he was not the person addressed and that someone in his group had the sagging pants and the whole situation was a misunderstanding. Personally, I find it amusing and sad, at the same time, that this is considered news, reported by major outlets such as ESPN.

To Bryant’s credit, he appears to have made every effort to let this incident go quietly, downplaying what happened as much as possible. Anyone claiming to have read about this story and insists the words “racial profiling” did not at least pop into his head, in some form or fashion (good, bad, right, or wrong), is either naïve, attempting to whitewash the story, or fooling himself. Neither Bryant nor his associates have raised this issue publicly, which should help douse the flames of this story more quickly.

I have no idea what happened. I was not there. I think it is ridiculous that anyone, otherwise minding his business and in compliance with the law, in a public mall is so much as approached, let alone ejected, because of how he chooses to wear his pants. I do not buy the argument about being able to see slightly below the waistband of a person's boxer shorts being cause for ejection. I doubt that there was a diagram with guidance on how to dress posted at all of the mall’s entrances.

My gut feeling is that a mall cop, with low self esteem (which is understandable, given the occupation – if you are a mall cop, I am not talking about you) saw a standout wide receiver, on the verge of becoming a star, for the Dallas Cowboys and saw an opportunity to put a high profile notch under his hand-me-down belt. Smaller scale harassment happens every day with mall security personnel everywhere in America. If I were Bryant, I would take my millions elsewhere in the future.

Still, it begs the question. What if we all received the Dez Bryant treatment everywhere we went? Many of us think that we would love the spoils of wealth and celebrity, but what happened to Bryant is an example of the trade off that wealthy famous people experience as a result of their success. By NO means am I playing a violin for Bryant. He appears to be relatively unfazed by this incident. I am simply pointing out how guys like him, usually for better but sometimes for worse, live in a different world than we do.

Joe Jonas: "Dude! I PAID for that purity ring!" 2

Walking into a Washington, D.C. area bar….

You: Hi. Can I get a light beer?

Bartender: Do you want more taste or less taste, MISTER COWBOY?

You: Um, okay…. It doesn’t matter. Just give me a light beer.

Bartender: Tell you what, take of those hefty bag pants, next time and I’ll get you a Miller Lite, MISTER COWBOY!

Patron: (in the background and getting closer) WE DON’T LIKE YERR KIND ‘ROUND HERE! (breaks bottle over your head; hi-fives the bartender)

Bouncer: Sorry, sir. But your baggy pants are causing too much trouble. I’ll need to ask you to leave.

You can receive celebrity pampering, just like Dez. 3

Walking through airport security….

TSA guy #1: Well lookie who’s in line. It’s that hot shot Cowboys player! Look at him! Taking pictures with hot chicks…signing autographs. He thinks he’s better than everyone. Just who does he think he is?

TSA guy #2: A famous football player?

TSA guy #1: Yeah, well he needs to learn a little respect! I’ma show him who’s in charge at my airport.

TSA guy #2: You just started work on Wednesday.

If you think your job sucks.... 4

You: Good morning, fellas. How are y’all doing today?

TSA guy #1: “Fellas”? “Y’all”? You’d think this guy knew us the way he’s talkin’ here. Let’s just see your boarding pass.

You: Oh, I’m sorry. How should I address you?

TSA guy #1: We’ll ask all the questions. Now I’m afraid I can’t let you through. Your pants are a little saggy and, since 9/11, we can’t have none of that. It’s too easy to sneak in a box cutter or a nine millimeter or some kinda weapon.

You: I’m wearing a suit!

TSA guy #1: Yeah well I ain’t never had no suit just hanging off of me like that.

TSA guy #2: You don’t own a suit.

TSA guy #1: (to the other TSA agent) SHUT UP! (back to you) I’m afraid we’re gonna have to ask you to leave.

I don't THINK SO! The TSA don't play that! 5

You: My flight leaves in an hour!

TSA guy #1: He’s resisting. (mace sprays; you get rapped with the Nancy Karrigan baton, repeatedly)

You: OUCH! Why? WHY? Ow! WHY??!!

(At the 2:00 mark) "WHY! WHY! Oh-ho-ho WHYYYY???"

At an upscale restaurant in Philadelphia….

You: Hi. I have reservations for one.

Maître d’: Good evening, (pause, sigh) sir. Name?

You: (slips maître d’ a $20 bill) I am trying to keep a low profile. I made the reservation under “Smith”.

Maître d’: Your name is not “Smith”.

You: Yes, but…(interrupted)

Maître d’: Sir! We are a fine dining establishment, not “Nappy Cuts” from Barbershop 2. We cannot tolerate high school games like aliases. And, sir, your pants are sagging.

You: My Wrinkle Free Dockers?

Maître d’: This is a four star restaurant, not a “scrip” club. I am going to have to cancel your reservation, Mr. SMITH, and ask you to leave.

You: What the @#&*???

"A BILL??? I haven't EATEN yet!!!" 6

So remember, ladies and gentlemen. Celebrity is not always all it is cracked up to be. As long as there are people who cannot hate the game and have to hate the player, there will always be incidents like Bryant’s in the news. I hope that MISTER COWBOY is more careful about keeping a low profile in the future. There are very few people with his level of skill, celebrity, and wealth, but I would wager that there are millions of people that resent him for it.

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To advertise with The Daily Hat Trick or to submit a guest column, please contact the editor at eric@thedailyhattrick.info.


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Word on the Tweet – March 23, 2011

The Daily Hat Trick stops at nothing to get the down & dirty scoop for its readers. Today is no exception. The sports world has been filled with scandal, secrecy, and controversy. Here are the top secret player and coach Tweets, unseen by the public until today.


Steve Nash, after the Suns game with the Lakers was still tied after double overtime:

@BlackMamba See! That late start-overtime crap won’t work with us! #NoDaylightSavingsTime


Dez Bryant, who was kicked out of a Dallas area mall for allegedly having sagging pants:

@ChrisBrown I hope this helps you out; maybe people will stop talking about you, now.

Brown: @DEZ_88: Thx bro. U shoulda told there security to “kiss ur ass”! RT: @ChrisBrown I hope this helps you out…

Charlie Sheen: @ChrisBrown You know what I call that? “WINNING!” #IkeTurner RT: @DEZ_88: Thx bro. U shoulda told there security to “kiss ur ass”

Take THAT, Paul Blart! 1

Josh Cribbs, about the proposed NFL rule changes, which would result in more touchbacks, fewer kickoff returns, and few injuries on kickoffs.

@JayCutler They might as well give YOU my spot. This game’s getting soft.

Critics are HARSH! 7

Lawrence Taylor, who was sentenced to 6 years of probation for sex with a 16 year old prostitute.

@PimpDaddy WTF? You don’t card ‘em first? What am I paying you for? #CouldaGoneToAPlayground

"Math: 17+17 = 34 That's legal." 2

Barry Bonds' trainer Greg Anderson, who did a year in prison because he refused to testify against the former slugger before in regards to Bonds alleged steroid use.... He is being held for ignoring a subpoena to testify in Bonds’ federal perjury trial.

@HRKing I’d appreciate a cherry on top of the next bag of cash you have delivered to my house. #MyAssTookAPounding

Bonds: @SnitchesGetStitches Sure thing. Whatever you do, DON’T drop the soap in the shower! If you need protection, I hear you can make a shank out of a toothbrush. #BetterYouThan Me RT: @HRKing I’d appreciate a cherry on top…

Greg Anderson must be a dedicated friend. 3

Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling to Sacramento Mayor (and former NBA guard) Kevin Johnson, on the Sacramento Kings probable move to Anaheim, in the Los Angeles metro area:

@MayorKJ7 I’m still learning this Tweeter thing my assistant set up for me. I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m relieved. People around town will stop cracking jokes about us. #TheySuckMoreThanWeDo

@SterlingSilverDouchebag I love the Twitter handle! Fitting! Call me if L.A. can’t handle three teams. #RunningYouOutOfTown

Someone told Sterling this was a POSITIVE public relations move??? 4

Former University of Tennessee men’s basketball coach Bruce Pearl, who was fired for lying about NCAA recruiting violations:

@LaneKiffin Got your mssg. No, they haven’t spray painted my lawn. No, they haven’t tried to burn my house down yet. #IdGladlyTradePlaces #UrEmployed

I doubt Pearl is going to get run out of Knoxville in the fast "Lane". 5

Chicago Bears coach Lovie Smith, after vigorously defending Jay Cutler when Cutler’s toughness was questioned again:

@VealCutler Look, Jay. Are you SURE you want an ultra-visible PINK practice jersey this year? #GettingHarderToCoverForYou

This may become his game day jersey. 6

Pittsburgh Penguins’ Matt Cooke, who was suspended for the rest of the season and the first round of the playoffs for elbowing Ryan McDonagh of the New York Rangers in the head:

@SternDiscipline No, offense, Commissioner, but I’m not switching to basketball. NBA guys are a bunch of thugs.

Matt Cooke is concerned about his public image. 8

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To advertise with The Daily Hat Trick, or to submit a guest column, please contact the editor at eric@thedailyhattrick.info.


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