NBA free agency kicked off last week and every team took their best shots to make a splash and improve their rosters. The Houston rockets made a lucrative offer to Chicago Bulls reserve center Omer Asik. Asik played well during his limited minutes, but the offer of just under $60 million to Asik was viewed as an overpayment in the eyes of many, myself included.
Today's retweet is another pithy one-liner from NOT SportsCenter (@NOTSportsCenter):
"9. @brian07420: Rockets sign Omer Asik for 8 million/year, this could be the worst contract since weight watchers signed Charles Barkley."
Grossman is not the first, nor will he be the last, athlete to be criticized for his management of his weight. What we may not see for a while are some of the hum dingers of quotes like what can be found in Jenkins’ article. The line that stood out most to me was, “If Grossman has an inherent limitation, it’s his lack of mobility. He has no business compounding it with a knife and fork if he expects to lead the Redskins to the playoffs.”
FAT!
While one should not throw stones if living in a glass house, as Ms. Jenkins is on this issue (she is not a hippo, but she’s no stringbean, either), it caught my attention and gave me a little chuckle. One of my favorite sports journalists, talk show host Jim Rome, refuses to allow personal appearances to be fodder for his show. It’s a pillar of The Jim Rome Show.
The Daily Hat Trick may have the luxury of raising the bar when we have 2,000,000 readers per day. As it stands, my daily bogey for readership is three figures, not seven. When I get to seven, I’ll raise my standards. Until then, enjoy some samples of pithy comments of the past about players packing on the pounds.
C'mon Sally. You could stand to put the fork down, yourself. 1
TO THE PRESS!
Recently acquired and controversial New England Patriots defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth:
“And so the biggest question for Redskins fans remains this: will the pros of Albert Haynesworth's expulsion…outweigh the cons…?”
--Michael Katz, S.B. Nation D.C., September 9, 2011
Warrick Dunn (on the ground) looks like he is afraid Albert is going to eat him! 2
Former University of Alabama defensive tackle Terrence Cody:
“He's a big, fat blob,”
--Unidentified NFC personnel man, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel article, “Will Alabama’s Cody Be a Mountain of Bust?”, April 18, 2010
"BLOB"? Harsh: yes. Unfair? Hmm.... 3
Basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley on Turner Sports office having a betting pool on his weight:
"That is starting to hurt my feelings. I don't mind skinny people making fun of me, we all do that, but I don't want fat people making fun of me."
--Source: barkleyquotes.blogspot.com
Basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley on Peter Vescey calling him fat on TV:
"…The truth is, I'm going to have to get bigger clothes or start hanging out with fat people to look skinnier."
--Source: barkleyquotes.blogspot.com
The supply of Barkley fat quotes were limitless. 4
Former Major League Baseball player John Kruk:
“John Kruk Is Dead Weight On ESPN...and Lots of It”
--Headline for an article in Bleacher Report by Andrew Brining, August 13, 2009
A LOT of it! 5
New York Jets Head Coach Rex Ryan, after losing some weight:
“I think everyone in New York is happy about that, except maybe Macy’s losing one of their floats.”
--Former Cleveland Browns Head Coach Eric Mangini, Associated Press article, November 11, 2010
Rex Ryan was a source of girth references, too. 6
Former Cleveland Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia
"My arm feels fine. I just can't command either side of the plate."
--Source: Article by Rob Iracane, “What's Eating C.C. Sabathia? What's C.C. Sabathia Eating?” in the Walkoff Walk blog, April 17, 2008.
If he ate a burger, he wouldn't have to keep it on the plate. 7
NBA player Eddie Curry in an article on overpaid players:
“…Eddy Curry, is Exhibit A…Only A? A guy that size is Exhibit A through Z…”
--John Karalis of Bloguin, September 14, 2011
Because I am so sure Curry was trying to put a Big Mac through the hoop. 8
Former Cleveland Cavalier Shaquille O’Neal
“Shaq Misses Entire Second Half With Pulled Pork Sandwich”
--The Onion Sports Network, January 22, 2010
I couldn't make this up. You know what? If I were hungry enough, I may have missed a little time for a delicious pulled pork sandwich, too! 9
Bon appetite, Hat Trick readers!
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To advertise with The Daily Hat Trick, or to submit a guest column, please contact the editor at eric@thedailyhattrick.info.
1) Image from c-spanvideo.org 2) Image from maxminimus.blogspot.com 3) Image from warblogle.com 4) Image from basketballmedicine.blogspot.com 5) Image from phantomballplayer.blogspot.com 6) Image with citation from prior Daily Hat Trick article 7) Image from ftrsports.com 8) Image from nysportspace.com 9) Image from theonionsportsnetwork.com
After watching certain patterns repeat themselves, the only time I am surprised, during successive occurrences, is when others are surprised. In a world of the Internet, social media, and the 24 hour news cycle, hearing someone (anyone) of any significance to the public say something ill-advised, often downright stupid, is periodically expected.
In any given week, much of the public has become conditioned to think about, not “if”, but when will someone in the world of sports do or say something that he would regret quickly. This week, University of Southern California running back Marc Tyler, son of former San Francisco 49ers running back Super Bowl champion Wendell Tyler, jokingly said that USC paid better than the NFL. Unfortunately, his comment was made directly into a camera and his remarks appeared on gossip website TMZ.com.
As many of you are aware, USC had the hammer brought down upon its football program for violations that took place in 2004 and 2005, including paying former running back and Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush. Of all institutions, USC is among the last that needs any insinuation, even in jest, that there are inappropriate practices occurring in its athletic department.
So, once again, The Daily Hat Trick is bringing you a collection of examples, past and present, in which the free speech of sports figures came at a price.
Marc Tyler, USC running back (2011):
TMZ cameraman: Do Trojan football players make more money from the school or in the pros?
Tyler: “USC! They breakin’ bread!”
Result: Tyler was suspended for the 2011 opening game against Minnesota.
USC, they're smacking their heads! 1
Clinton Portis, former Washington Redskins running back (2007):
Situation: Atlanta Falcons quarterback Mike Vick was being investigated by the federal government for his role in a (then) alleged dog fighting ring. Portis was being interviewed by a local Virginia television station, WAVY-TV.
What was said: "I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it's his property, it's his dog. If that's what he wants to do, do it. I think people should mind their business," When told that dog fighting is a felony, Portis replied, "It can't be too bad of a crime."
“You want to hunt down Mike Vick over fighting some dogs? I think people should mind their own business."
"I know a lot of back roads that have the dog fighting if you want to go see it."
Later in the day…"In the recent interview I gave concerning dog fighting, I want to make it clear I do not take part in dog fighting or condone dog fighting in any manner."
Way to smooth it over, Mr. Portis!
Result: In terms of substantial consequences, nothing…. In the court of public opinion, it was the latest in a string of dubious quotables throughout Portis’ career. He will not be remembered as one of the NFL’s all-time eloquent statesmen or deep thinkers.
Mike Vick: "Hey, Clinton! Don't do me any more favors, okay buddy? You've helped me (and my image) out enough!" 2
Basketball Hall of Famer and NBA Analyst Charles Barkley (1994):
The situation: The Round Mound of Rebound was noteworthy for shooting his mouth off during his 16 seasons in the NBA. But Sir Charles would also come to learn, the hard way, that free speech is not always free. After a game in 1994, Barkley was extremely critical of the game officials in a post game press conference.
What was said: After a valiant effort, I was unable to locate the exact quote on the World Wide Web, perhaps indicative of how many times Barkley has served up a memorable soundbite to the press. What I remember, however, in response to being asked if he was concerned about being fined for his criticism, is that Barkely said that he could not be controlled with money and that he had more money than everyone in the room. If anyone reading this piece could locate the exact quote and email the link to me, I would be appreciative.
The Result: NBA Commissioner David Stern dished out what was then a record fine and multiple game suspension. Barkely never quite repeated a post game tirade with the same level of volatility. I guess he could be controlled with money.
If you want to play a cool drinking game, try something that involves finding a picture of Barkley with his mouth closed. 3
Former Indianapolis Colts Coach Jim Mora, Sr. (2001):
The situation: Chances are, if you are old enough to drink, I need not provide much, if any preamble to the classic post game rant. Mora’s Colts were in the midst of a losing skid and quickly falling out of the playoff race. After a loss to the San Francisco 49ers, in which Colts quarterback Peyton Manning threw several interceptions, Mora expressed his disapproval with his QB and his team.
What was said: Why tell you, when I can show you (and 9 out of 10 of you probably know exactly what was said, anyway)?
There are only a handful of NFL moments I'll remember vividly in 50 years, God willing, and this is one of them. 4
The result: The soundbite went viral in an age where roughly half of U.S. households did not have Internet access* and You Tube did not exist. The word “PLAYOFFS?!?!”, when said in a high-pitched, incredulous tone, became a punchline. Mora may have that word in his epitaph.
So remember, Hat Trick readers, in the spirit of this month, in which we celebrated America's 235th birthday, free speech is not always free (far from it)!
Don't forget to vote in the fan polls!
To advertise with The Daily Hat Trick or to submit a guest column, please contact the editor at eric@thedailyhattrick.info.
The situation: The Houston Rockets blew big leads and dropped their first two games at home in the second round to the defending Western Conference champion Phoenix Suns. The local newspaper, The Houston Chronicle, displayed the headline "Choke City" after the second fiasco against the Suns.
The result: The Rockets won the next two games in Phoenix and successfully defended their home court, going forward, for a 4-3 series victory.
The aftermath: The Rockets would advance to the NBA Finals against the New York Knicks, which they would trail 3 games to 2. The Rockets would win games 6 and 7 to with their first, ever, NBA Championship. The repeated narrow escapes by the Rockets gave birth to the moniker “Clutch City” for Houston.
1
The year: 1995
The pretext: The Rockets faced elimination, trailing the Utah Jazz 2 games to 1 in the best-of-five opening round series. The Rockets would rally to win Game 4 and then take Game 5 in Utah.
The situation: The Houston rockets faced the Suns, again, in the second round of the playoffs, trailing 3 games to 1 and facing elimination.
The result: The Rockets were able to force overtime and survive to play, and win, a Game 6 and Game 7.
The aftermath: The Rockets never looked back, winning the Western Conference Finals in six games and sweeping the Orlando Magic in the Finals, making the 6th seeded Rockets the lowest conference seed ever to win an NBA Championship. The “Clutch City” name achieves boiler plate status in the NBA when referring to the Houston Rockets and their "Double Clutch" in 1995.
Sir Charles never got a second shot in the NBA Finals. He has "Clutch City" to thank. 2
The year: 2006
The situation: The Dallas Mavericks held a 2-0 series lead in the NBA Finals over the Miami Heat. Leading by 13 points with six minutes remaining in Game 3, the Mavericks had the Heat, and the series, all but put away, as no team in NBA history has ever won a best of seven series after trailing 3 games to none.
The result: Dwyane Wade elevated himself to the NBA’s group of “A list” superstars in this series, starting by leading a rally and finishing the game with 42 points and 13 rebounds en route to a dramatic comeback victory.
The aftermath: The Heat never looked back, going on to win the Finals 4-2. Dwyane Wade won the NBA Finals MVP award, being recognized as one of the league’s elite going forward.
The beginning of The Legend of "Flash" 3
The year: 2011
The situation: The Dallas Mavericks trailed the Oklahoma City Thunder by 15 points with less than 5 minutes remaining, leading the series 2 games to 1 in the Western Conference Finals. OKC was on the verge of tying the series, heading back to Dallas, and avoid an ominous 3 games to 1 hole, which usually is sign of doom for the team trailing in any professional sport, with comebacks from such a deficit being rare.
The result: Dirk Nowitzki of the Mavericks began hitting difficult shots and following them up by hitting improbable shots. The Mavs rallied to send the game into overtime and then took complete control, earning the win by allowing the Thunder only 6 points in the final five minutes and overtime.
The aftermath: The Mavs completely let the air out of the Thunder’s balloon, winning the following game and advancing to the NBA Finals.
You couldn't spell "choke" without the letters "OKC" that night.
The year: 2011
The situation: The Dallas Mavericks trailed the Miami Heat by 15 points with less than 7 minutes remaining, trailing 1 game to none in the NBA Finals. Miami was on the verge of taking a 2-0 series lead, heading to Dallas. A two games to none hole is often sign of doom for the team trailing in any professional sport, with comebacks from such a deficit in the Finals round being rare.
The result: Dirk Nowitzki scored the Mavericks’ last 9 points, en route to a series tying victory earned by allowing only 5 points to the Heat for the remainder of the game. Dallas claimed home court advantage for the remainder of the series.
The aftermath: ???
AGAIN??? 4
BACK TO THE FUTURE
Apparently there IS a DeLorean with a Flux Capacitor, like from the movie Back To The Future. It is in Texas. Like the Houston Rockets in the mid-1990s, the Dallas Mavericks were able to hop in and channel the karma from a prior improbable comeback.
Following Miami’s Game 1 victory in the NBA Finals, many pundits in sports media predicted a Heat series victory in 5 games or less. Many said that the Mavericks cold not stop Dwyane Wade and LeBron James and Chris Bosh, possibly one, maybe two, but not all three. With seven minutes remaining, the analysts appeared to be spot on. Unfortunately for the Heat, Dirk happens.
The ultimate irony (or “poetic justice” or whatever term you prefer) is that the Heat were less than half of a quarter away from taking a series lead that few teams recover from. The comeback by the Mavericks shifted the momentum of the series and added to Dirk Nowitzki’s legacy at the expense of the legacy of Dwyane Wade and other members of the Heat. Five years ago, the Mavs were less than half of a quarter away from taking a lead that no team ever recovered from, only to fall in a performance that began Dwyane Wade’s legacy and cast a shadow over the legacy of Dirk Nowitzki.
Sports are often like life. This is one of the most alluring characteristics of sports. Poetry is an art form based on what man can experience in life. Last night, life imitated art.
The DeLorean: Texas style!!! 5
Don't forget to vote in the fan polls!
To advertise with The Daily Hat Trick, or to submit a guest column, please contact the editor at eric@thedailyhattrick.info.
1) Image from sportsblink.com 2) Image from bleacherreport.com 3) Image from Sports Illustrated 4) Image from NBC Sports 5) Image from cezl.wordpress.com
