Bobby is Nobody’s Valentine

Other than the New York Yankees and St. Louis Cardinals, no Major League Baseball team can stake claim to as much success in the 21st century as the Boston Red Sox. After an epic September meltdown in 2011 resulting in elimination from the playoffs, the Red Sox fired longtime manager Terry “Tito” Francona, deciding to go in a different direction.

STABILITY

Other than New York, there arguably is no tougher and more scrutinizing baseball market than in Boston. The Red Sox own the sports scene in Boston, more than the New England Patriots, Boston Celtics, or Boston Bruins. This means that the hiring of any manager is a critical hire than management can expect to come under close evaluation and strict monitoring by the fans and the media.

Tito was very popular among his players. In spite of the September meltdown and understandable disappointment, Francona built up significant goodwill with many fans in the Boston area during his tenure with the Red Sox, which included two World Series titles. Certainly the next manager would be a person that would appreciate the unique baseball climate in Boston. Certainly the next manager would be a man who understands that harmony in the clubhouse and positive public perception are critical. Certainly the next manager would be a man with the profile of Bobby Valentine. Wait…BOBBY VALENTINE??? (Insert the sound of tires screeching after slamming on the brakes.)

A stunned Ozzie Guilen: "If I'd have known you were gonna hire Bobby Valentine, I'd have applied for the job. I wouldn't be in so much trouble! There aren't many Cubans in Boston." 1

BOBBY VALENTINE – LIKE SHAKING A SODA CAN

Boy oh boy, the Red Sox “went and did it”. Bobby Valentine, by all accounts, has a brilliant baseball mind and is a very intelligent man, in general. So the Red Sox selected as good of a baseball strategist as was available. Picking someone with Valentine’s baseball IQ is not a surprise. Do you know who else has a high baseball IQ? Ozzie Guillen!

Not being exposed to a strong personality for an extended period of time can cause a person to forget just how combustible that person can be. During the latter part of the last decade, while Valentine was managing successful teams in Japan, I had forgotten about Valentine’s antics. Earlier today, Mike Greenberg of ESPN Radio’s “Mike and Mike in the Morning” compared Valentine’s hiring in Boston to shaking a soda can and then opening it – some people may think it is a cool thing to do and see while some think it makes a mess and wastes soda. Either way, the status quo is toast.

What did time soften in my memory? Valentine is the same guy who was fired by former team owner (and future U.S. President) George W. Bush (an oilman by trade) from the Texas Rangers in the middle of the 1992 season with a winning record. I can only imagine that W. had better things to do during his father’s reelection year than make a major change in the organization he owned as a hobby while the team was winning. But Valentine has that effect on people.

Bush, (right): "Bobby, the way baseball works in 'Amerca' is that you're either with us...or you're with the 'terrists'. You're not with us anymore." 2

Valentine is the same guy who was fired after one season with a Japanese team, the Chiba Lotte Marines, in spite of engineering a 180 degree turnaround for the better (finishing in 2nd place) on the field. Why was he fired? Personal differences with the GM…. He had to really get under the GM’s skin to get fired after turning the team around when the GM’s fate is tied to the success of the team.

Valentine is the same guy who was suspended and fined by Major League Baseball for antics as manager of the New York Mets during an extra innings game against the Toronto Blue Jays in 1999. Valentine lost his cool with an umpire during the 12th inning and was ejected from the game. He returned to the dugout before the end of the game, disguised with a fake mustache.

Valentine is the same guy, while managing the Mets in 2000, who reportedly threw players on his team under the bus while addressing students at the Wharton School of Business. The incident and the result are a microcosm of the essence of the man. The Mets would go on to be National League Champions that year, but without the warm and fuzzy feeling one would expect on a pennant winning team.

Umpire: "Oh sorry! I thought you were the guy I just tossed out of here five minutes ago. You look just like him!" 3

THEY DON’T DO THINGS THAT WAY IN BOSTON

So, why I am I writing about Valentine today? What did he do this time? Over the past weekend, he only questioned the commitment of one of the most intense players and best hitters over the course of his career, third baseman Kevin Youkilis (.288 career BA, .390 OBP) – a member of both World Series Championship teams in 2004 and 2007.

I wonder how Youkilis would respond if Valentine told him that his unothodox batting stance is, "not the way we do things in Boston," 6 

Valentine said, “I don't think he's as physically or emotionally into the game as he has been in the past for some reason.” In hindsight, had that statement gone over like a lead balloon, it would be a victory for Valentine. Instead, less than two weeks into Valentine’s regular season tenure as Red Sox manager, Valentine has lit his trademark powder keg in the clubhouse.

Second baseman and 2008 American League Most Valuable Player Dustin Pedroia returned fire at his boss. "I really don't know what Bobby is trying to do. That's not the way we go about our stuff around here. He'll figure that out. The whole team is behind Youk. We have each other's backs here,” said Pedroia, who added, "Maybe that works in Japan." Funny, I thought baseball teams did things the way the manager says they do them.

The Daily Hat Trick ran a piece last week about dysfunctional franchises in professional sports, in light of the rift between Orlando Magic Head Coach Stan Van Gundy and their superstar center, Dwight Howard. Valentine’s Red Sox are well on their way to joining that not-so-elite company. It didn’t take long for the team to move to the head of the sports world’s special needs class.

Pedroia, a second baseman, is saying that Valentine, the manager and Pedroia's BOSS, isn't doing things, "The way they're done around here," but he'll learn in time. REALLY? I wonder if Pedroia's dog is wagged by its tail. 5

RECIPE FOR DISASTER

Changes in an organization’s climate can shorten the memory of an observer. Valentine’s brief tenure has shortened my positive memories of the Red Sox organization. It is tough to remember that, just one year ago, the Red Sox took the field on Opening Day with a roster that was being compared to the 1927 Yankees. Analysts, almost across the board, picked the Red Sox as the favorites to win the American League in 2011.

In spite of an 0-6 start to the season, the Red Sox rallied to take a nine game lead over the division rival Tampa Bay Rays in the American League Wild Card race in September. Sports projection website coolstandings.com placed the Red Sox odds of reaching the playoffs at 99.6%. The team collapsed and the Rays advanced, not the Red Sox.

So in spite of an historic collapse, the termination of the long time, two time World Series winning, manager, the unfavorable public backlash and intense scrutiny on a very talented team in the 2012 season, the Red Sox hire the a guy who could disrupt the harmonious environment of a monastery. Bobby Valentine went “Bobby Valentine”. Now there is trouble in Beantown in the middle of April.

Maybe the Red Sox will return to the postseason. I don’t think they will due to the train wreck that appeared to be forming at the end of last season. Regardless of the team’s on field success (or lack thereof) it is going to be a L..O..N..G summer in Boston. But it won’t be a dull one!

If the Red Sox wanted Valentine to give the team a "jolt", he did! 4

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Putting the “Classic” Back in the Fall Classic

The Texas Rangers and St. Louis Cardinals have played four games in the 2011 World Series. We have no more vision as to who will emerge as the champion than we did before the series started.

The series started even; the series is currently even at 2-2. St. Louis had one more home game available to them on the schedule before the series started; St. Louis still has one more home game available to them on the schedule remaining, with Game 6 and Game 7 (if necessary) in St. Louis. After clinching their respective pennants, the following game for the Rangers and Cardinals would feature Chris Carpenter on the Mound for the Cardinals against C.J. Wilson for the Rangers. The next game will feature Carpenter vs. Wilson.


WHAT’S THE STORY?

Baseball has fallen far…FAR behind the NFL in popularity over the past 25 years. World Series games are receiving television ratings under 10.0, comparable to a prime time NFL regular season game between two high profile teams. For the Fall Classic to appeal to the casual fan, it has to have story lines. The ready-made story line would be any World Series involving baseball’s high profile, historic franchises.

Television executives can sit back and wait for the ratings to roll in should teams such as the Yankees, Red Sox, White Sox, Dodgers, Phillies, or Cardinals be involved. Half of that equation has been filled in, but the Rangers are a team with relatively less legacy and almost zero postseason accomplishment to speak of prior to 2010.

St. Louis slipped into the National League Wild Card spot by the skin of its teeth on a combination of its miraculous September rally combined with the epic collapse of the Atlanta Braves. The Rangers won their second consecutive American League championship this year. Yet, ironically, the Rangers are the weak link for television appeal. For this series to be memorable, both teams needed their big players to step up big in big situations.



This country will never be as captivated, ever again, by a World Series as it was by the 1986 World Series (Mets vs Red Sox). That doesn't mean the games aren't really good! 1



NOT SO LONE RANGERS

To say that Texas has stepped up in key situations is an understatement. This series could conceivably be over had key Rangers not stepped up when the heat was on. Trailing 1-0 in the 9th inning and facing the prospect of falling into an 0-2 hole in the series, the Rangers had two options: score at least one run or be forced to win 4 of their next 5 games to win the World Series, a rarity in postseason play.

What happened? Powerful, speedy Rangers second baseman Ian Kinsler delivered a clutch single with no outs, followed by the biggest display of testicular fortitude by a base runner in this postseason, narrowly stealing 2nd base and getting into scoring position. The success or failure of the stolen base may have determined the outcome of the game and, perhaps, the series. After being moved to third on a subsequent single, Kinsler scored on a long sacrifice fly RBI by reigning American League MVP Josh Hamilton. Elvis Andrus of the Rangers would score what would turn out to be the winning run on a subsequent sacrifice fly by Michael Young.

Last night, trailing 2-1 in the series, the Rangers faced another near-must-win situation. A loss would put the Rangers down 3 games to 1, a kiss of death in the vast majority of best-of-seven series in American sports. Derek Holland, a good pitcher, but seldom dominating, spun a gem.

Holland pitched 8.1 scoreless innings, with 7 strikeouts, before being relieved by Neftali Feliz for the Rangers’ shutout win over the very potent Cardinals lineup. Holland pitched four shutouts in the regular season, but had an ERA of close to 4.00 and a batting average against of .262. In other words, Holland was a feast-or-famine pitcher in the regular season. He feasted when his team absolutely needed him to do so.

Even Dubya had to stand up and get crunk for Derek Holland. 2

RED HOT BIRDS

The Cardinals stars also rose in a way that helps put the “Classic” in “Fall Classic”. In Game 1, Chris Carpenter gave the Redbirds six solid innings, followed by a posse of five relief pitchers, strategically inserted by Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa. The Cards pitching performance concluded with a save, earned by Closing Pitcher Jason Motte in the 9th inning.

Game 3 treated baseball fans to a performance for the ages. Rangers fans would have been thrilled if they were told, before Game 3, that the Rangers would put up 7 runs. Fortunately for the Cardinals, Albert Pujols put up a historic performance, going 5 for 6 with 3 homeruns and 8 RBIs. Pujols joined elite company, as only Babe Ruth (1926, 1928) and Reggie Jackson (1977) hit three homeruns in a World Series game prior to Saturday night.



Pujols didn't just "go yard", he "went legend". 3


WATER COOLER WORTHY

Through four games, the Rangers and Cardinals have given even the most casual fans of baseball something to talk about. If you have been following the action, I need not explain more. If you have not been following, but have some interest in baseball, or did once upon a time, you will have at least two, possibly three, opportunities to reconnect with the game in what has been a compelling and intense World Series.


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To advertise with The Daily Hat Trick, or to submit a guest column, please contact the editor at eric@thedailyhattrick.info.

The Daily Hat Trick is sponsored by Sports N Stuff. For great deals on jerseys, shirts, cologne, and other guy stuff, visit http://www.sportsnstuff.biz/.

1) Image from sportsecyclopedia.com
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The Stories Behind the Story of Super Bowl XLV

The 2010 NFL season is officially over and who knows if there will even be a 2011 season. So, with the memories of the Super Bowl still fairly fresh in the minds of most, The Daily Hat Trick wanted to ease the transition of football fans everywhere. Today we are going to look at some of the stories that surrounded the last NFL game of last year, none of which have to do with the actual game played on the field. You get a dose NFL without the football.


Christina Aguilera Bungles the National Anthem

Talk about topics on which I am ambivalent…! As a blogger, occurrences like this give guys like me something to write about for you to read about and enjoy. Personally, however, if I hear another peep about Christina Aguilera “messing up” the anthem, I will scream. I am sick of it. It happened; she cannot take it back. With five Grammys under her belt, she gets a mulligan.

Former Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis stopped, mid-stream, while performing the anthem at a New Jersey Nets game, and said, “UH OH! I’ll make up for it now.” He did not “make up for it,” by the way. He would not get a mulligan.


UH OH!!! 2

Comedienne Roseanne Barr, who screamed the anthem at a San Diego Padres game at Jack Murphy Stadium in 1990, concluded her, um, performance (to this day I am not sure if it was intended to be a vocal or comedic performance) by spitting and feigning a crotch-grab, mimicking the ballplayers. It only offended millions of people, in a country on the brink of the first Gulf War and prompted President Bush (41) to call the performance “disgraceful”. She would not get a mulligan.

You've gotta have some real stones to grab stones that you don't have in front of tens of thousands of people. 3

Christina Aguilera transposed three words improperly and quickly got back on track. Nobody is perfect. It happens. Get over it!

Hat Trick grade (for performance of the anthem): C-/D+

"Proudly"..."ramparts"...who cares? I'm proud of you, girl! You SING THAT SONG (better the next time)!!! 1

Super Bowl Commercials: A Vast Intellectual Wasteland

Former Federal Communications Commission Chairman Newton Minnow, nearly 50 years ago, called television a “vast wasteland”. He cited commercials as a key contributor to this state. According to Wikipedia, Minnow is still alive. I doubt his position changed one iota if he watched the Super Bowl ads. In fact, if his position DID change, he may have reverted back.

1) Pepsi Max Slapstick Shtick

This commercial set was the one that grabbed my attention the most. Pepsi, while it makes an inferior soft drink compared to its archrival, Coke (at least as far as my taste buds are concerned), has had a bunch of kick-ass marketing campaigns over the years. Michael Jackson and the “choice of a New Generation” campaign, Shaquille O’Neal quenching his giant sized thirst by gulping Pepsi, Britney Spears, and countless other campaigns have made Pepsi the prince of pop culture cola marketing in the Coca-Cola kingdom of soft drinks.

There's the windup. And...the pitch! 4

So, while I had a couple of chuckles, I was a little under-whelmed by Pepsi’s reliance on slapstick punchlines for its Super Bowl ads. In one ad, a wife attempts to clock her husband for having that Italian disease that all red blooded men have: “Roman Eyes”. The man ducks and the young, hot blonde gets cracked on the noggin with a can of Pepsi Max like Curly from The Three Stooges. Nyuck, nyuck, nycuk…! In another ad, the punchline was a man being hit in the crotch with the calorie free Pepsi. Hardee harr harrrrr!

Hat Trick grade: C

2) Doritos

I give Frito Lay credit for not being afraid to go outside the box, but perhaps they should embrace the box a little more. In one ad, a coworker tells another coworker, who had just finished his Doritos, that he forgot the best part. I expected him to grab the bag and eat the crumbs (my personal favorite part). But no, the man licks the powdered remains of the cheesy chips off of his male coworker’s finger. I am all for tolerance and do not believe in bashing anyone. But I always ask myself who the primary target viewer is in an ad. “Gay men” was the only answer I kept arriving at.

Hat Trick Grade: C-

Frito Lay could have gotten Chance Rivers to do this ad. It would elimiate any confusion of the target audience. If you don't know who that is, DO NOT look that up from a workplace PC. 5 

In another ad, some nincompoop is house-sitting, very badly, and ends up knocking an urn containing a grandfather’s ashes on the ground. Throughout the ad, the Doritos have magical powers and some sprinkles of the nacho snack bring Grandpa’s ashes back to life. I personally enjoyed this ad, but it was anything BUT conventional. Love it or hate it, this ad got people talking.

Hat Trick grade: A-

3) Teleflora: “Amazing Rack”

I will keep my criticism of this ad short and sweet. In the ad, Faith Hill is helping a man, buying flowers for the woman of his affections, pick out the right words, but his own words from his heart. So what does the man say? “You have the most amazing rack.”

REALLY? A boob joke? Yes, it is usually on our minds…often. But C’MON MAN! When a man is buying a woman a gift like flowers, which are possibly the most classic romantic symbol, boobs are not top-of-mind. Don’t get me wrong! Our motivation may include the experience of a woman’s body (the motivation may be that experience, exclusively), but the average, normal man trying to do something romantic for a woman he has feelings for is not thinking about “that one thing” first and foremost. That punchline was easy, of the lowest common denominator, only slightly funny (even on the toilet humor level), and ridiculous.

Hat Trick grade: D

Halftime Show - It LOOKED Great

The halftime show, featuring the Black Eye Peas, received significant criticism in the press. I personally thought the show LOOKED great. It LOOKED well choreographed. My EYES were not disappointed.

The sound engineering was awful. AW-FUL…! When the featured act is a MUSCIAL act, sound production is of utmost importance. Someone should have lost his or her job over that fiasco. The Peas performed some of their most popular, high energy singles, which I like to bop along to, myself, in the car or club. However, the balance between the music and vocals was beneath the quality of anything produced by the students from my high school’s media classes. Mic levels were nowhere near where they should have been and completely mistimed. It was as though someone ignored that aspect of concert preparation.

Say what you like; Fergie is FINE! That was worth the 12 minutes of cacophony. 6

Ultimately, it was a Black Eye Peas performance and the Black Eye Peas got a black eye! The Super Bowl is a potentially powerful marketing tool for a musical act to reach people only marginally familiar with its work. People who are familiar with the Peas and/or have been to their concerts know what the group is capable of and will think no less of them. The people that the group likely wanted to reach had no reason to be impressed. The show LOOKED just fine but sounded like something Milli Vanilli would be justified in criticizing.

Hat Trick grade: D-

Alex Rodriguez & Cameron Diaz

Friggin’ A-Rod, man…! Every time I try to give this dude the benefit of the doubt, something happens that makes it impossible for me to really embrace this guy. How are you, the third baseman for the Yankees, a perennial All-Star with Hall of Fame statistics, going to be seen canoodling at the Super Bowl with Cameron Diaz and she is feeding you popcorn like you are a baby in a high chair? C’MON MAN!

Hat Trick grade: F…Epic F

FAILURE! 6

Row of Dignitaries...and Madden

I was impressed with the shot of dignitaries in (what I believe was) the owner’s suite at Cowboys Stadium. We see former First Couple George and Laura Bush, nice. We see Condoleezza Rice, okay. Hall of Famer John Madden, alri-….JOHN MADDEN??? Hmm, perhaps Madden would have fit batter among the dignitaries if he were not texting on his phone when the camera panned over.

Hat Trick grade (for Madden): D



Only 43 different men ever to walk the Earth have been President of the United States of America (President Grover Cleveland was #22 and #24, but I digress). Only 5 of those men are among the 6 billion people living right now. John Madden is sitting next to one. WHAT IN THE HELL COULD HE BE TEXTING that is so important it that it couldn't wait for W to go #1? 7

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To advertise with The Daily Hat Trick, or to submit a guest column, please contact the editor at eric@thedailyhttrick.info 

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