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Friday, March 9, 2012

Wooing Peyton Manning

Peyton Manning is on the free agency market. Reportedly, over a dozen teams have approached him, expressing an interest. In 2010, I compared another multi-time MVP’s free agency to the dating game. In that tongue-in-cheek piece, I compared the chase for LeBron James’ talents to a guy trying to get a girl.

In the case of Manning, I have a slightly different perspective. James was coming off of an MVP season. Manning did not play last year. James may not have hit his peak in his playing career. Manning is 36 years old. Manning reminds me more of the guy with something to prove, but can have his choice of any girl he wants. The only difference (in this light hearted comparison) being that if he doesn’t approach you, he is probably not interested. I got the impression that LeBron’s team was listening to all suitors.

Let’s look at the “girls” who wrote their number down in lipstick on a cocktail napkin and handed it to Peyton with their hotel room key.

Get ready, Peyton! 8


All she has to offer is money. Peyton is a stud and he’s rich. He doesn’t need a sugar mama. On top of that, Washington girl would pit Peyton against his brother, whom Washington girl could never, ever have.



High maintenance…too much drama…still in too deep with her current guy.


It wouldn’t be hard for Peyton to get his foot in the door, but does he REALLY want all of the drama of the Jets’ locker room? The ex-boyfriend might have a few rage issues, too, and I wouldn’t blame him. This chick is cute, but crazy.


Oh HELL no!



She has a lot of her stuff together, just needs the right guy. However, Kansas City is cold and Peyton is used to indoor and warm weather places where his lady can show off.


Arizona girl looks N..I..C..E. She may have to go through a rough breakup, but her family is going to LOVE him. The weather is just right. Arizona girl will need to beef up the security for her house, however (i.e. offensive line), as Peyton is a big celebrity with a lot of guys trying to get to him. She may not have the budget for a beau like Peyton.


Houston girl is another hottie. Peyton may have a little trouble here, though. Houston girl already has a guy and he isn’t exactly a dud. Houston girl’s current guy is also younger and the relationship is bound to last longer with the current boyfriend than with Peyton, who is only looking for a two to four year pit stop.

Peyton would cheerfully wear Houston Girl on his arm and rub her in the face of Indy Girl (the ex-girlfriend) twice per year. The big question is: would Houston girl really dump her man for Peyton?



Ding! Ding! Ding! Winner! This is the one I would pick. Miami Girl is blazing hot. Miami girl is single and has been for some time. The only thing she is missing in her life is the right guy. And…by the way…she is IN MIAMI!

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