Synonym Does Not Mean “The Same”

The season may be over, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with the NFL. During the brief public exchange of barbs between Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning and Colts owner Jim Irsay, Irsay referred to his club as, “The Horseshoe”. While it doesn’t quite have the same ring as, say, “The Shield” (or even “The Golden Arches” for that matter), it did make be think about different words we could use to describe the same teams.

What I have served up for your entertainment today, is what the NFL team names might sound like if different words were used, with essentially the same meaning, in place of the existing team mascots.


NFC North

Chicago Woodland Critters

Detroit Felines

Green Bay Slaughterhouse Workers

Minnesota Scandinavians

Scandinavians...aww yeah!

NFC South

Atlanta Birds

Carolina Cats

New Orleans Catholics

Tampa Bay Thieves

I should be ashamed of myself for the "Catholics" logo. Oh well!

NFC East

Dallas Crap Kickers


New York Obesity

Philadelphia Winged Creatures


Washington Victims of Home Invasion

Not the kind of "Giant" that intimidates opponents.

NFC West

Arizona Car Poopers


St. Louis Horny Heads


San Francisco Gold Diggers

Seattle Fish Gulpers

Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digga....

AFC North

Baltimore Nevermores


Cincinnati Man Eaters


Cleveland Colors


Pittsburgh Unemployed

Life is tough in the Steel City.

AFC South

Houston Houstonians


Indianapolis Ponies


Jacksonville Cars

Tennessee Deities



Houston: different name...equally redundant.


AFC East

Buffalo Codys


Miami Mammals


New England Tea Partiers


New York Airplanes

Australian pop sensation Cody Simpson, a mammal, a Tea Partier, and a plane...never mind what type of plane.

AFC West

Denver Horses

Kansas City Bosses


Oakland Rapists & Pillagers


San Diego Electrocutioners

Ben Roethlisberger jokes are the gift that keeps on giving.

 

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NFL Logo Mojo

On Monday, the Carolina Panthers announced their first, ever logo change. The old logo, in place since the franchise was established in 1993 (first season: 1995), does not look very different from the new one. The new logo is slightly sleeker with some touch ups, but, for the most part, incorporates the same basic design principles as the original logo.

Pick out three differences in three seconds. Go for it! 1

Not all logo changes are so subtle and not all of them are improvements. All logos are in chronological order.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers



The old Bucco Bruce reminds me of Antonio Banderas...and Puss in Boots. 2


Washington Redskins

From moderately offensive to almost tolerable to borderline minstrel. WOW! 3

New York Jets

Plane, ball, plane, ball...the Jets are not just indecisive on the field. 4

Buffalo Bills

The buffalo is sleeker. It is still beef, too. And it's what's for dinner! Not very different from the football team, itself.... 5

New England Patriots

The Patriots did not start winning Super Bowls until the minuteman was no longer bent over. Coincidence? 6

Cincinnati Bengals




Just because it is a “change” does not mean it is “progress”. 7


Jacksonville Jaguars

The original Jags logo (left) had to be changed to the current Jag (right) because the Jaguar automaker claimed it resembled the car logo too closely. Would anyone REALLY confuse this athletic logo with that of an American-acquired British automaker? 8 

Some changes are for the better. A few are for the worse. I think we can all agree that the logo is little more than decoration unless your team looks like this:

The old Memphis Tams unis...GROSS! 9

Don't forget to vote in the fan polls!

To advertise with The Daily Hat Trick, or to submit a guest column, please contact the editor at eric@thedailyhattrick.info.

The Daily Hat Trick is sponsored by Sports N Stuff. For great deals on jerseys, shirts, cologne, and other guy stuff, visit http://www.sportsnstuff.biz/.


1) Image from http://blog.imagesmith.com
2) Images from www.wearepixel8.com, www.film.com, and www.sodahead.com
3) Images from www.ehdwalls.com, www.sportslogos.net,
4, 5, 6, 7, 8) Images from www.sportslogos.net
9) Image from www.nba.com