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Friday, February 10, 2012

Synonym Does Not Mean “The Same”

The season may be over, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with the NFL. During the brief public exchange of barbs between Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning and Colts owner Jim Irsay, Irsay referred to his club as, “The Horseshoe”. While it doesn’t quite have the same ring as, say, “The Shield” (or even “The Golden Arches” for that matter), it did make be think about different words we could use to describe the same teams.

What I have served up for your entertainment today, is what the NFL team names might sound like if different words were used, with essentially the same meaning, in place of the existing team mascots.

NFC North

Chicago Woodland Critters

Detroit Felines

Green Bay Slaughterhouse Workers

Minnesota Scandinavians

Scandinavians...aww yeah!

NFC South

Atlanta Birds

Carolina Cats

New Orleans Catholics

Tampa Bay Thieves

I should be ashamed of myself for the "Catholics" logo. Oh well!

NFC East

Dallas Crap Kickers

New York Obesity

Philadelphia Winged Creatures

Washington Victims of Home Invasion

Not the kind of "Giant" that intimidates opponents.

NFC West

Arizona Car Poopers

St. Louis Horny Heads

San Francisco Gold Diggers

Seattle Fish Gulpers

Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digga....

AFC North

Baltimore Nevermores

Cincinnati Man Eaters

Cleveland Colors

Pittsburgh Unemployed

Life is tough in the Steel City.

AFC South

Houston Houstonians

Indianapolis Ponies

Jacksonville Cars

Tennessee Deities

Houston: different name...equally redundant.

AFC East

Buffalo Codys

Miami Mammals

New England Tea Partiers

New York Airplanes

Australian pop sensation Cody Simpson, a mammal, a Tea Partier, and a plane...never mind what type of plane.

AFC West

Denver Horses

Kansas City Bosses

Oakland Rapists & Pillagers

San Diego Electrocutioners

Ben Roethlisberger jokes are the gift that keeps on giving.

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