Hello, My Baby! Hello, My Honey! Hello, My NFL!



Opening Night, 2010 2

The NFL lockout has plagued American sports fans for more than a month. The players union has decertified. Suits are being heard in court. Judges are ordering the league and player representatives to mediate. What a grand mess for our grand game!

But, never fear! Sheriff Roger Goodell is here! And he has the most unique and revolutionary means of solving the NFL’s labor problem ever conceived by the mind of a mere mortal. Ignore the problem and pretend it does not exist! I see why they made him commissioner!

I have often thought of Goodell as a visionary who, labor issues aside, is taking our current national pastime to a new level in this relatively new century. His approach to the owners’ lockout of the players, however, is eye popping. Goodell’s approach to the inevitable disruption of regular operations has been to simply plow ahead and see where it goes.

You don’t believe me? Let’s look at the evidence, thus far. Scouting combine? It went on as planned, without a hitch, televised and all. The NFL Draft? Eight days away and counting. ESPN even has a little count down ticker on its website. Isn’t that cute? Nobody seems the least bit concerned that there can be no draft day trades of players, as there have been every single year draft’s existence, that I am aware of, prior to this year. The show must go on!

Now, for the real whopper, the NFL has released its 2011 schedule, with dates, times and everything! Preseason games, Monday night games, Sunday night games, home games, road games, and games slated for possible flex scheduling are all settled and ready to be played. Never mind that the league has no players right now. It is a minor setback. Everyone will be ready to roll before the opening whistle.


PAGE FROM MERRIE MELODIES

I am in my mid-thirties and grew up watching the animated Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies shorts, most of which were directed by Chuck Jones. Many of you, I am sure, remember the classic short, “One Froggy Evening”, directed by Jones, in which a construction worker finds a singing dancing frog, later named Michigan J. Frog. Frog refuses to perform in front of anyone except the man who found him. The man goes broke attempting to rent a theater to get people to see the frog, who simply sits and croaks once the curtain rises.

Roger Goodell's vision of Opening Night, 2011 1

Roger Goodell, apparently, has a league of Michigan J. Frogs. Everyone says to the media and to one another that a resolution will be reached. Goodell moves forward with the season, as if there will be a season without a hitch. We have had a scouting combine, we are preparing for a draft, and the NFL has just released a nice, neat, 16 game schedule with the season beginning prior to the second week in September, like it always has in recent years.


Here is a news flash for the commissioner: if the present course remains unchanged, the curtain may go up on the evening of Thursday, September 8th for the New Orleans Saints at Green Bay Packers to start the season, but the only green there to see will be the tundra at Lambeau Field and a metaphorical singing and dancing frog that is the NFL players!


HOW TO SELL A STORY: REPETITION

I would find this situation somewhat comical if it were not seriously threatening the upcoming football season. The regular season is going to start on time. REALLY? How is that going to happen without a preseason? Preseason to start in August. REALLY? How can you have preseason games without a training camp? Players will have training camp. REALLY? How useful is training camp, particularly for players new to a team or a system, without minicamps and organized team activities (OTAs)? How can you have OTAs without a team facility for the players to ORGANIZE? Players are meeting up at parks and throwing the ball around?

That’s a TA, not an OTA. You know what else is a TA? A boys night out to a gentleman’s club! In either case a TA is not an OTA and neither is seriously going to prepare the players to perform at their best, which is what I expect when I pay money for tickets or invest time out of my Sunday watching beer and car commercials in between the action I want to see. Roger Goodell is trying to sell us a singing, dancing frog, but all we are going to hear, unless something changes, are croaking and crickets!


"Team activities": TAs? Or T&A? 3



GET THAT FROG DANCING AGAIN!

I will not continue to beat the dead horse about how much I side with the players and how greedy, and foolish, I think the owners are in this tug of war with the only asset that customers (that would be us, fans) really care about: the players. There are $9 billion at stake. Cut up the pie, serve it up, and let’s get back to football! You know what happens when you leave a pie sitting out? It gets cold. Then it gets dry. Then it gets stale. Then it has to be thrown away. Stop playing games, get to the table, iron out the wrinkles, let everyone make some money, and let us, again, see our precious frog: NFL Football.

LET'S PLAY BALL! 4

Don't forget to vote in the fan polls!

To advertise with The Daily Hat Trick, or to submit a guest column, please contact the editor at eric@thedailyhattrick.info.


1,4) Images from squidoo.com

2) Image from xalimasn.com
3) image from collider.com