Let Life Imitate Art - Best of 2010

The mission of The Daily Hat Trick is to inform and entertain. It serves to inform because we like to know what is going on in sports. It serves to entertain because I believe that one of the most significant reasons that we like sports is because of the infinite number of ways in which sports can mirror life.

For example, whether you love Brett Favre or hate him (and whether you want to admit it or not) I think that everyone could draw some degree if inspiration from then 40 year old Brett Favre's career best season in 2009. Message: your age does not have to stop you from being great. If a graying, grizzled, 40 year old man can dominate a game of size, speed, and strength, we all can achieve with the the proper experience, determination, and preparation. This season taught many of us the harsh realities of Father Time through Favre (on and off the field).

Today, we look at some of the top stories of 2010 and what these stories would translate into in the lives of ordinary people.

The Saints Win Super Bowl XLIV

The rags to riches life of the New Orleans Saints franchise is well documented and well known by even the most casual football fan. If the Saints team were a man, we will call him "Moses", it would remind me of Milton from the movie "Office Space". You keep him down...keep him down...and keep him down and eventually he makes everyone pay and walks off with a big prize. Let's have a look at Moses.

Supervisor: Yeah, Moses, we're going to move you to the cellar to make space for the vending machines. You really haven't done anything worthwhile in years. We'd let ya go, except you were such a big inspiration for the developmentally disabled kids that we sponsor that it wouldn't look good. M'kay.

Moses: But...I'm...going to...okay...that's it (Moses blows up the building and makes off with a half million dollars of company money, untraced).

Source: YouTube

Armondo Galarraga Loses an Official Perfect Game

Detroit Tigers pitcher Armondo Galarraga retired the first 26 Cleveland Indians batters he faced on June 2, 2010. Jason Donald of the Indians grounded the ball to first base. The ball was flipped to Galarraga, who stepped on first base before Donald. First Base Umpire Jim Joyce called Donald safe. The next batter was retired. In practice, Galarraga and his team did what was necessary to retire 28 consecutive batters. Instead, the game ended as a one hit shutout.

Source: Wikipedia

Major League Baseball Commissioner and favorite Hat Trick bogeyman Bud Selig refused to overturn the indisputably bad call. This would have let Joyce off the hook for the mistake and righted a wrong in the record books.

What if something like this happened in real life?

Warden: Alright Armondo. It's time to go.

Armondo: Nooooooo! Warden, I am innocent! That guy right there is the real killer. He confessed. He's wearing an "I am the real killer" t-shirt!

Warden: Sorry, son. Rules are rules. (flips the electric chair on, sparking can be heard in the distance)

Major League Baseball Rules: Rule 5 Draft, Major League Baseball Tie-Breaking Procedures, Mlb Instant Replay

Victim's mother: Excuse me. I am the victim's mother. Armondo was at our house, eating DINNER when our loved one vanished. And he spent the night...in my room...with the door locked from the inside...and the body was found in the middle of the night! I demand that the governor stop this outrage!

(phone rings)

Warden: Hello? Governor? Okay.... (Hangs up). Sorry, Armondo. The governor said that the human element is part of the judicial system. There's always next time.

Armondo: NEXT TIME???

Bud Selig believes in "the human element". 1

Landon Donovan Scores a Last Minute Winning Goal

The World Cup achieved more popularity than ever in the United States this past summer. Many American sports fans, who thought a red card was a fancy, super-super-premium American Express card and not a penalty resulting in ejection, followed the 2010 United States World Cup team.

The dramatic high point, of course, was Landon Donovan's winning goal in the 91st minute against Algeria. There are few singular moments in the career of a soccer player that could exceed the euphoria of such a dramatic triumph. Unfortunately, Americans do not really care about soccer. It was approximately 2:00 in the afternoon, my local time, when Donovan scored the goal and by 5:00, "what's for dinner," was a more pressing topic for American sports fans than the World Cup.

What if this happened in a typical office?

Landon:  Oh MY GOD!!! I just closed the biggest deal in this company's HISTORY! WE ARE ALL RICH!!

(crickets chirping, one person politely clapping in the corner)

Boss: Oh, um, thanks Landon. Could you bring me some coffee, please? No sugar....

Nice job and all, Landon, but BOY can you pour a cup of coffee! 2

George Steinbrenner Dies

Former Yankees Owner George Steinbrenner, possibly the most controversial owner in modern baseball history, died this past summer. Yankees fans loved him. I would wager that many more hated him. In the wake of The Boss' death, however, most people giving interviews about Steinbrenner spoke glowingly. Was this out of respect for the man and his family because he died? Was this an admission, after the fact, that even if you hated Steinbrenner, he was interesting and therefore good for baseball (a sport experiencing a famine of interesting stories, not related to steroids, in recent years)? 

What if George Steinbrenner ran a typical office in America?

Before: 

Worker: I hate George. He is a JERK. He walks around here telling us what to do like he owns the place!

Co-Worker: He does own the place.

Worker: All of this extra crap he makes us do just to make a buck.... So we have a workout room! So what? So there is an espresso machine on each floor! Big deal! So the company can afford to give us weekly massages on Friday afternoons! WHO CARES? He's just shoving the rest of the money is his fat pockets.

After:

(sound of a treadmill)

Worker: (running) George was the best boss ever. He pushed us hard, but the man was a saint! Look at how he took care of us.

Co-worker: (sound of steam and pouring) Espresso, buddy?

Worker: No thanks. Ingrid is coming to work the knots out of my back in a few minutes. I've gotta go.

Too often, we never appreciate what we have until it is gone. 3

Brett Favre-Jenn Sterger Scandal

Brett Favre, then the 39 year old quarterback of the New York Jets, allegedly sends pictures of his "little Brett" to and leaves mildy suggestive voicemails with 25 year old Jets sideline reporter Jenn Sterger. I have beaten this horse to death, so I will just go straight to the "what if".

On any business trip for any company in America....

Brett: (sounding like coke-head, cheeseball Ellis from "Die Hard") Hey, hey, hey! Jenn? Sprechen sie talk?

Jenn: Oh. Hi Mr. Brett.

Brett: Today is your luck day, Jenn. I'm going back to the hotel to just chill. Why don't you call me later and come by.

Jenn: Oh thanks, Mr. Brett! You all are having a party?

Brett: Sure am, darlin'. Me...you...(unzips pants) and Little Brett.

Jenn: (drops coffee mug on the ground) Ew! I...have to wash my car tonight.

Brett: "Washin' the car!" Aww riiight!

Jenn: (after throwing up in her mouth, a little) You've never met my dad, have you?

Brett: No! But I'd love to meet your mom! Invite her too!



Brett: "A successful mother daughter combination! Awww yeahhh!" 4

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1) Image from yourworldreport.com

2) Image from lifehackery.com

3) Image from baynews9.com

4) Image from eworldpost.com