In Memoriam

It is the holiday season once again. At The Daily Hat Trick, we like to remember those who are no longer with us in the sporting world. It seems fitting that we remember these beloved elements of the National Football League that passed on in 2010. In memoriam....

"Hey y'all! Watch this!" 1

Brett Favre’s career (1991-2010) – Let us remember the Ol’ Gunslinger for his boyish enthusiasm, rocket arm, dramatic comebacks, and his role in resurrecting two storied NFL franchises – The Green Bay Packers and, late in his career, the Minnesota Vikings. Let us overlook, from our departed brother, the three consecutive seasons ending in interceptions on his final pass. Let us overlook the dong shots he sent to 25 year old Jets sideline reporter and Playboy Bunny Jenn Sterger in 2008, when he was 39 years old. For Brett clearly had ambitions to be a Chippendale’s model after football, but apparently he is a little short…or long…we’d have to ask Jenn.

This has nothing to do with anything. I just wanted an excuse to put one more picture of Jenn Sterger's sexy self on The Daily Hat Trick. This story has been the gift that keeps on giving on so many levels. Like herpes, only looking forward to the outbreaks.... 2

Brad Childress’ Head Coaching Career (2006-2010) – Let us remember the dozens of gems in the soundbite department that Coach Chilly gave us. Regrettably, Chilly was a “Programmatic Non-Fit” and effectively signed his pink slip when he approved the pink slip of Randy Moss. Let us not remember Childress being punked by Brett Favre when he asked Favre to come out of the game and Favre showed Chilly who was in charge. Let us not remember the sycophantic manner in which Chilly flew down to Hattiesburg, Mississippi to go “dillo” hunting with Favre and picked Favre up from the airport in lieu of a taxi service. Let us not remember the three weeks he coached Randy Moss and had what little coaching manhood he had remaining extracted. In fact, let us just not remember this coaching tenure at all!

Yes sir, Mr. Favre, sir! (What...a...loser). 3

Vince Young’s Reputation (2005-2010) – Let us remember Vince Young for the thrilling performance that he gave us in the 2006 Rose Bowl, in which Reggie Bush never played, according to the NCAA. Let us remember the excitement and enthusiasm, and optimism that Young brought back to the Tennessee Titans in his rookie season. Let us remember the inspirational rejuvenation of Young’s career in 2009, in which the Titans nearly came back from the dead to reach the AFC Playoffs. Let us not remember Young’s suicide watch. Let us not remember Young cold cocking the heckling jerk at the, um, gentlemen’s club. Let us not remember Young’s souvenir toss of his helmet and shoulder pads into the stands nor his child-like profanity laden tantrum at Titans Head Coach Jeff Fisher, the longest tenured and possibly the most respected coach by players, coaches, fans, and owners in the National Football League.

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Randy Moss’ Renewed Reputation (2007-2010) – Let us remember the record setting 2007 season in which Moss proved that he was still among the best and helped the Patriots, if not led the Patriots, to an 18-0 start. Let us remember the awe inspiring moments, such as his one hand snag of a long bomb as he escaped the seemingly inescapable Revis Island. Let us not remember the “look at me” shenanigans in a week 1 presser that led to his trade back to the Minnesota Vikings. Let us not remember how Moss insulted hard working caterers at a team meal. Let us not remember how he instructed Vikings owner Zigy Wilf to fire Brad Childress and how Wilf obliged only after Moss was released. Actually, that was kind of funny; let us remember that bit. And let us pray that he does not cause Titans coach Jeff Fisher to turn to drink. I sure would.

REALLY, Randy? REALLY? 4

Jared Allen’s Mullet (1982-2010) Let us remember the mullet of Jared Allen. If the expression of Sampson, “My strength is in my hair,” has any transference to the gridiron, then Jared Allen is in the Mullet Hall of Fame. This organic, full, uber-lock of Southern trailer park goodness had become the trademark of one of the fiercest pass rushers in the National Football League. Intimidating offensive tackles…body slamming fullbacks…Allen and his mullet instilled terror into the heart of the enemy with a mayonnaise smeared slathering of ferocious pass rushing and impenetrable run stoppage.


Mr. Allen recently proposed to the smoking hot Ms. Amy Johnson. Ms. Johnson had a lower tolerance for the mullet than many of Mr. Allen’s typical fans. Because he loved Ms. Johnson and greatly desired the hotness and goodness of her love for all-time, Allen capitulated to the will of his beautiful fiancé, said, “Uncle,” and parted, sorrowfully, with his sweet mullet.

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Let us not remember the remarkable 21st century fashion faux pas. Let us not remember the one way ticket Mr. Allen purchased on the way to Whipsville. Let us not remember our fundamental weaknesses as men for the endearing smile and alluring hotness of babes like Ms. Amy Johnson (exhale). Mr. Allen’s Mullet, in memoriam….

Mike Vick’s Scarlett Letter (2007-2010) – This letter is not an “A”, but a “D” and we all know what for. Let us remember the sports media gold that Mike Vick gave us by founding Bad Newz Kennels and subsequently getting busted for dog fighting, giving any hack with a TV news desk, microphone or pen the lowest of low hanging fruit for endless punchlines involving the word “dog”.

Actually, let us not remember that. Let us remember how Mr. Vick served his two years in the federal penitentiary, was released to a halfway house, and performed manual labor for a $10 per hour so paltry that Wal-Mart greeters were sending donations to help Mr. Vick get back on his feet. Let us remember how he humbled himself to accepting the role of third string quarterback in Philadelphia and earning 10% of his pre-conviction salary, only after the endorsements of two of the highest character people in football, Tony Dungy and Donovan McNabb. Let us remember how Mr. Vick proved that he was the best quarterback on the Eagles roster but remained a leader and concerned teammate amid the absurd speculation that he would remain behind Kevin Kolb on the depth chart. Let us remember this MVP caliber season Mr. Vick is producing, should he remain healthy. And let us all remember the record breaking performance in which Mr. Vick accounted for 6 touchdowns on Monday Night Football.

My personal favorite memory of the 2010 season, thus far. 6

1) Image from howtowatchsports.com
2) Image from blackbirdnation.com
3) Image from theklowntimes.net
4) Image from http://api.ning.com
5) Image from liquida.com
6) Image from sportsillustrated.cnn.com
7) Image from backseatfan.com